Allow me to cease my rambling for a moment and introduce myself. I go by the name of “Rennet Sheikh,” and if you hadn’t already made the connection, I love cheese, both for its taste and for the merry havoc it has wrought upon my once drab, dreamless nights. Hello, Interwebs.
Recently, I was given a gift. My fondness for delicious, curdled dairy products did not go unnoticed by certain otherworldly entities; the Cheese Sprites. These fairy-like creatures were responsible for cheese’s introduction to mankind. It was not, as some would have you believe, discovered either by accident, experimentation, or any combination of the two. The Cheese Sprites brought it into our world by means of an ancient magical ritual, and have seen to it that it continues to thrive and be enjoyed by humans everywhere.
As luck would have it, the Cheese Sprites took a shine to me and saw fit to bestow upon me a magical set of clothing, known as “The Vestments of the Eldritch Curd.” While wearing this outfit, my sense of taste becomes acutely attuned to the flavour of cheese, allowing me to appreciate it even more than I already did. It also grants me extra-sensory perception, through which I can sense the exact location and type of any and all cheese within a 100-mile radius, and the ability to transform myself wholly into whey, whereupon I become nigh-indestructible.
This was a major turning point in my life, and it inspired me to create what you see before you.
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